Rocking Chair Blues

Grams says I have 4 more years until I am an old maid. Guess I got a lot of living to do before 2009. Let's go.

Crack House

It became quite evident last night, that I live in a crack house. I would like to move. Soon.

Glass Eye

So I went to a show last night. Apparently anyone can perform. People will literally pay anyone with a guitar to sing. So I am going to start writing songs about things such as, green blades of grass... and how they feel on my toes. And I would even go so far as to spare the listener metaphors, just like the lady last night. Just enough noise to make you wish you were drunk, or deaf. This is my goal. Kevin, however, will now have the market on songs about glass eyes. Chad did earn his dollar though.

Freedom Maid

Here are some firework ideas I think Macy's should work on for next year. Fireworks that explode to look like those little green parachute men, parachute and all, color correct. Fireworks that look like an exploding volcano with functioning lava. And I'd really like to see what fireworks look like dropped out of an airplane. I imagine they'd look the same, but I'd really like to see it for my own edification.

Rule of the Day

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Propositions....

Baby, would you like it if I had a snake tongue?

It's Electrifying!!

There's nothing better than going to a bar filled with Top 40 fans and playing Debbie Gibson on the Jukebox. Once I perfect said dance, I will be quite the spectacle. Good times.

Greeting Cards

On the topic of greeting cards this past weekend, it was noted that Divorce cards exist. To which my brother added, "What do they say, 'Get the hell out of my life and take the kids!'" Now what would that card look like?