Let me paint the picture for you. I'm in New Orleans for work, but took today off to explore and go on a cemetery tour. So I got up, feeling a little off from the two hurricanes I consumed the night before, but still I get motivated and get out the door so I have a full day to play. I wanted to grab a croissant or something and keep walking. Actually I wanted to go to Cafe du Monde, but I have issues eating alone, which is kind of where the story starts. I had passed by the famous cafe and just couldn't muster, whatever it is people muster to sit and eat alone. At around 11:30, sitting on the banks of the Mississippi I decide I just really need to get food. Wandering down Decatur, I stumbled upon a Walgreens and grabbed a water and a muffin, a coffee cake muffin, you can imagine my excitement. I wandered back to a park I had found earlier when a friend called. In order to balance the water, the muffin and the phone, I spotted an empty bench just outside the park, sat down, chatted, ate my muffin. I was thoroughly enjoying my morning, eating my muffin, saying to my friend on the phone how nice it was in New Orleans. A bicyclist had sat on the park wall in front of me, while talking on his cell phone, a couple people sat down on the bench and had gotten up in the course of our conversation. As the details of the Massachusetts health care system were being given to me, in my nice, relaxed on vacation little mind frame, I look up and the man who was sitting on the wall, had cock in hand, no more than five feet from me, and was jerking off. I shall file this day under, "Things that would only happen to Jen."
don't talk to strangers. don't let them guess where your shoes are from. don't be nice to people. they steal your money. i just paid $20 to learn to run away from strangers. just like my parents used to tell me. they were right about that one. score 1 for parents. score 0 for jen trying to be a nice human.