Chapter 1: Thom Thumb - A Love Story
No one ever said that meeting people at a bar was difficult; it’s meeting QUALITY people at a bar that’s hard. But you think to yourself, I am a quality person, there must be other people like me out there and I am going to find them. So you go out, and you try to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, but you end up with people like Thom Thumb.
Let me explain. I was out with my sister watching baseball. I noticed an attractive man at the end of the bar; and it took him all night to come up and talk to me. It made him seem charming, shy and genuine. He also added how bad he was at talking to girls at bars. We hit it off and he had me laughing - which is key. He seemed pretty great, but isn’t everyone in the beginning? I noticed he kept his right hand in his pocket and a few minutes later I saw why. He had a slightly odd thumb that I thought may be the result of some sort of accident, but it had a baby fingernail so I suppose it was just deformed. I wondered for a moment if that was something that was going to bother me or something I would be hung up on. I imagined him holding my hand, shaking people’s hands, or running his hands through his hair, all with his baby thumb. (Sure, you may be calling me mean, but if you’re honest, you know you’d be doing the same thing.) The man was sweet and funny, so I figured I would just go with it. Maybe a tiny thumb was something I needed in my life. After an hour or so of talking to him, and having a dance off with the fellow bar-goers, I headed home. He took my number and said he wanted to take me out to a sushi dinner. When I mentioned that I eat like a five year old he suggested McDonald’s and wine. So far so good.
The next day, while my sister was being texted ceaselessly by the Irish man she met the night before, I wondered if I’d here from my guy. Before long, I did. A nice little note saying he enjoyed meeting me and hoped my day was going well. It was. When I got home that night and was getting ready to go out to catch the game with my friend Paul, I got a text message telling me to swing by the bar; they were out watching the game again.
This is when you start to run over the rules in your head. “I shouldn’t go, because I need to give the impression that I am busy.” “I can’t be too accessible; people always say that men don’t like that.” I always have been, and likely always will be, someone who just does what they feel is right. And I do believe that when I meet the right person, all the “rules” and “games” will just go away because it’s right. That, or my theory is wrong and I will end up alone and be the neighborhood cat lady. Check in with me in twenty years and I’ll let you know how that one panned out.
So, anyways, I grabbed Paul and we went to the bar. If we pause for a moment here; I sometimes wonder if this is another area I go wrong in… the male friend. But then I think to myself, I’ve agreed to go out with Thom Thumb, so clearly, he knows I'm interested. I wouldn’t show up at a bar with another man that I was interested in, that would be weird. One would think. After introducing Paul to Mr. Thumb, we all stood around talking. I noticed that Paul and I were doing most of the talking so I made the effort to engage Thom some more. That’s when I noticed something was off. He was talking to random girls at the bar - and he wasn’t shy about it; in fact, they were all laughing and having a great time. So what was he going on and on about the night before? A half hour later he was getting their phone numbers right in front of me. At this point I deleted his number because clearly he wasn’t interested or the charming man I met last night wasn’t so much at all. The girls left and Thom made some more small talk with me, before leaving.
I was a little blown away by the fact that he invited me out so I could watch him hit on other women, but it was so brazen I found myself laughing at the whole situation. It was the first memorable encounter of my new life living in Hoboken. I knew at that moment that this was going to be a wildly interesting time in my life, so I texted my friend, “I love Hoboken,” as Thom walked out the door.