I Like Your Perky Teets

Plenty of Fish was once described to me as “Plenty of Freaks,” and the longer I am on this site, I can certainly agree. This weekend I received an email that simply stated, “I like your perky teets.” I wonder what his expected response was. Perhaps:

• Thanks so much! Your balls don’t look half bad either!

• Want to see them?

• We should totally get together then!

My response to my friend was, “I have to get off of this website.” I planned to do that today but haven’t gotten around to it. I guess I could be doing it right now, but then I wouldn’t be able to share this next email with you, my five followers.

My wife and I see that you are a beautiful attractive woman... My wife and I are looking for a serious committed relationship that could lead to loving family and children one day... We are serious about this sweetie and I hope you understand. Hit us up when you have a chance babygirl.

I mean, really? REALLY? This is what’s left out there? Sigh.