May 8, 2012

Online Dating Pet Peeves

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I've passed up going on a date with my soulmate because he used "to" instead of "too" when writing an email to me. Dating is hard enough—frustrating, disappointing, awkward, late-night rants to friends of, "Dear God! Where is he?!" As we get older, we become clearer about what we want out of a relationship, and hopefully more open to people we may have dismissed years ago because perhaps he was wearing boat shoes, and maybe you hate boat shoes. (I hate boat shoes. Unless you're on a boat, or are from Connecticut.)

So, I am not sure if the things that irk me about online dating are helping me weed out unviable options, or just making me entirely too picky. For instance:

Cell phone pics—I think I need to mention it because guys still aren't getting it—the shirtless picture taken in a bathroom with a cell phone. What the hell? This is not attractive. There's also the generic shirtless pic, or the, "Hey I'm naked except for this sheet that is covering my junk" picture. You're probably just looking to get, I don't feel bad about immediately disqualifying you.

Grammar—I am by no means perfect. There are probably a bunch of typos all over this blog. But, I do try. I'd like it if you tried when filling out your dating profile or emailing me. Here's an actual email I received, "hi dere how u doing...howz life....god blss"

Thought—There's a website called It's a cute concept, fairly easy to understand. You just finish the sentence—How About We... One that I used was, "How about we go to a music store and play all of the instruments." Men can then send you an email or a simple, "I'm interested," meaning that your date suggestion sounds cool and your profile wasn't so bad. Profiles on the site are abbreviated, because the point is to get offline and get out there and meet people. So this, for instance, doesn't work, "How about we… Looking for a beautiful female with analytical mind set, who is feminine, who lives a healthy lifestyle." I mean, it's really not that hard to figure out!

Face—Then there are the sunglasses. Why are you wearing sunglasses in your profile picture? Or most recently, why are you wearing sunglasses in a mirrored elevator taking pictures of yourself? Are you stuck in an 80's song? Stop it.

But then there are the gems that you come across like, "Whatever comes between us, all will be solved with a 'f*ck it, I love you.'" Those little glimmers of hope are what keep me going...and writing about all of my dating disasters. You're welcome.

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