What is life trying to teach me?

I lost my mother 14 months ago. It was a tenuous relationship at best, but the sense of loss, anger, and regret were no less real. When I first called my CEO to tell him I had to make a last-minute trip to say goodbye to her, one of the many supportive things he said to me that day has stuck with me — what is life trying to teach you right now?

I played that over and over in my head in the coming hours, days, and months. I find myself applying it to pretty much everything now. When my dog first developed epilepsy the night before I went into the hospital to have my second child — what was life trying to teach me then? There were a lot of answers for both of those situations and plenty more for everything else I apply it to. We can learn a lot about ourselves while trying to answer this question, and sometimes even find a little peace.

And now, with this pandemic, I find myself coming back to this question again. There are, of course, the bigger-than-us lessons of what we can learn as a community, a nation, and as a connected-by-travel planet as a whole. But for most of us, we aren’t the ones who will be finding those answers. We can, however, find answers for ourselves.

What is life trying to teach you right now? You juggling the kids being home, feeding everyone, cleaning, managing online and homeschooling, all while still working a full-time job. You crying in the bathroom because you just. need. a. minute. You who just got furloughed because your employer has no idea when they will open again, and you, the small business owner wondering if you will be able to open again. You feeling so desperately alone and wondering when all of this will end so we can see what kind of life we will all have when we come out of the other side. You waiting by the phone for an update because your mother is in the hospital and you can’t be with her. For many of us, more than one of these situations apply right now. I know that’s true for me.

And they’re all painful, confusing, frustrating, anxiety-laden situations. So do I wonder, what I am supposed to be learning right now? I do.