I Wish I Was a Video Game So I Could Punch Things and Get Rewarded for It

After weeks of suffering from moderate to severe abdominal pain, I had eagerly been awaiting test results to see what, if anything, was wrong and the best way to fix it. While I didn't want the answer to be ulcer, tumor, flesh-eating bacteria that maybe I picked up by a case of bad luck and poor timing, I had been hoping for something tangible with a concrete solution. If it turned out to be nebulous stress, that's tougher to solve, especially when I just want the pain to stop, and then carry on eating my Ben & Jerry's.

It's day six of waiting for my ultrasound results. I could easily just write a summary of the phone call I just had, but sometimes, when telling a story, the best way to have the reader experience the writer's emotions is with direct quotes. Show, don't tell—if you will.

Me: Hi, I had an ultrasound Friday, I'm calling to see if the results are in.

Nurse: Hold on.

(Time elapses)

Nurse: No, they are not in yet.

Me (now in my frustrated tone, since I also called yesterday): Well, I had the ultrasound Friday and they told me two days. I am WAITING to find out if something is WRONG with me so how you propose I go about getting the results?

Nurse: Please hold.

(Time elapses)

Nurse: Oh we did have them. I just didn't see them. Everything came back normal.

Me: So do I just keep taking these muscle relaxers then?

Nurse: Do you feel better?

Me: I feel better when I am on then, but as soon as I stop taking them the pain comes back.

Nurse: Please hold.

(Time elapses)

Nurse: Just keep taking the pills. You should probably go see a GI. Something might be wrong.