Lately,
when I get stressed, I think of this story one of my yoga teacher told me about
the effects of stress on the bodies of mice. An experiment was done in which
one set of mice were given everything they needed to survive and the other
group of mice wasn’t. They were put into stressful situations, that I guess
would be a mouse’s parallel to losing a job, a car breaking down, or wondering
if they’d be able to afford their rent and grocery bills. Whatever that is in
mouse-terms.
After the mice went to mouse heaven, autopsies
were performed and the stressed out mice’s organs had turned black. I think
about this when I feel a knot in my stomach. Is that my stomach turning black?
After
going through more than my fair share of life changes in the past couple of
months, changes I didn’t choose, I do wonder what effect all of the stress is
having on my body. The cold sore on my face is one quite obvious example of how
stress can present itself physically. So I wonder if I am doing enough for
myself to manage my life stressors? I think I could always do more, but I
definitely have a good base.
So what do I do? How do I get through it?
Well, it’s times like these that I really get to see how my yoga practice is
affecting my life and mind. Now, I remember to breathe. Before yoga, stress
would lead to shallow breathing, which after a while, would lead to a panic
attack. Now, I know that while this present moment may not be the
greatest—hell, it might be downright awful—I remember that not all moments will
be like this one. And all I have to handle is what is happening right now.
Before yoga, my mind would leap into a downward spiral of what-ifs and
why-is-this-happening-to-me moments. I’d feel like a victim instead of someone
who has the right to choose how she reacts to situations.
Don’t get
me wrong: my car nearly caught fire this morning, and I definitely shed my
share of tears. I felt myself beginning to fall into the old pattern of
spiraling. But then I remembered yoga sutra 2.33, translated as, “When disturbed
by negative thoughts, opposite (positive) ones should be thought of. This is
pratipaksha bhavana.”
So I take
a breath, and I start there. I needed to move my car before tomorrow’s street
cleaning or a I get a ticket. So I became thankful that I tried to move it
today and not tomorrow before rushing off to my temp job. I wouldn’t have been
able to get things done quick enough in the morning to manage the car situation
and still get to work. I was thankful that I tried to move it early so that my brothers
could drive to my town and fix it for me (which they did at a fraction of the
cost a shop would have charged me). Had I tried to move it tonight, I wouldn’t
have access to as much help.
I feel a
world of gratitude for my brothers right now, which is a way better feeling
than being mad about my car. And that’s a choice. It’s one that I don’t know I
could have made before immersing myself in yoga and self-study. And I’m hoping
it’s one step closer to not ending up like those poor little stressed mice.
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